The roles we play are extremely important. The Lord has commanded us to live within the boundaries of our God-ordained roles. When we choose to go outside of our role instructions, we grieve God, others and ourselves – making a mess of things. But this muddle can always be washed through Christ.
As disciples of Christ, if our focus is to love God and others, then that Biblical love ought to play out in all other roles we play (Mark 12:30-31). To do this, we must daily choose to keep on the gospel lens.
What is the gospel lens?
It’s having the good news of what Jesus did on our behalf in the forefront of our heart and mind at all times.
If I have the gospel lens on, I am following the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-26). When I “take off” the gospel lens, I walk by my flesh (Galatians 5:19-21). It’s a choice of walking in the spirit or the flesh (Galatians 5:16).
Child of God
Whether you are single or married, your first role as a disciple of Christ is being a child of God (John 1:12-13).
What role does a child of God play?
Trusting and obeying God no matter the situation.
When a child knows God, trusting and obeying Him is easy – notice I’m not saying the circumstance is easy. But when one doubts who God is, trusting and obeying is hard.
As a child knows their earthly father’s character, trust/mistrust and obedience/disobedience will follow. If the father is patient, kind, attentive, close, etc., the child will have an easier time trusting and obeying him. If the father is harsh, mean, inattentive, distant, etc., the child will have a harder time trusting and obeying him.
It’s the character of the person that the trust is placed in and as a result of that trust, obedience or disobedience follows.
That’s not to say that every earthly father who is patient will have an obedient child or every earthly father who is harsh will have a disobedient child. We are all responsible as individuals for what we think, say and do regardless of our influences.
A child of God gets to know Jesus by spending time with Him as He reveals Himself throughout the pages of the Bible. The columniation of who God is found in the gospel. If the child of God wears the gospel lens, he or she will have the ability, by the power of the Holy Spirit, to walk rightly in his or her other roles.
Marriage
Right after the creation account of man and woman in Genesis chapter 2 verses 4 to 23, God gives a “therefore” in verse 24. You ought to ask yourself this question whenever you see the word “therefore” in the Bible –
“What is it there for?”
So what is Verse 24 there for?
It is there to remind us readers of God’s design for marriage.
Genesis 2:24 describes the first step of what a man and woman ought to do when they get married – leave their parents and hold fast to their spouse. Notice that God has transferred the leadership from father to husband over the woman once marriage takes place. There cannot be two leaders. One replaces the other.
Just like the Old Covenant had required strict obedience to the law given through Moses, Jesus replaces that Old Covenant with the New Covenant. The New Covenant is that all who come to Christ through repentance and faith in Him alone will not only be forgiven of breaking the Mosaic law, but experience restored fellowship with God from the moment of conversation throughout all eternity.
The gospel lens compels us to trust and obey God’s laws.
There are several passages of Scripture that we can go to in order to learn of God’s design for spousal roles. But to sum it up, husbands are to Biblically love their wives and wives are to respect and submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22-33, 1 Peter 3:1-7, Colossians 3:18-19). The husband biblically loves his wife by being her priest, provider and protector (as Christ is to the Church) and the wife is to submit to her husband’s servant-leadership and therefore no longer submit to her father’s leadership. This doesn’t mean that the wife is not to honor and respect her parents once she’s married – it just means the title has been transferred to her husband from her father (1 Corinthians 11:3).
When each spouse is functioning in his or her God designed role, marriage is a beautiful display of the gospel.
Children
If the Lord decides to bless the couple with children, new roles develop in the husband and wife – they become a father and mother to their children. God has commanded roles of children that include obeying and honoring their parents. And God instructs parents to not provoke children to anger, but discipline and instruct them in the Lord (Ephesians 6:1-4, Colossians 3:20-21).
What happens when one or multiple people in the family are not functioning in the role God gave them?
What if they swap roles?
What if they forsake their roles?
There is confusion, conflict, and pain.
But when the family operates in the roles God gave them, there is unity, peace and enjoyment.
When a spouse, father, mother, or child do not stay within the boundaries God deems, The Lord desires each party to confess their transgression to God and to the person they hurt (1 John 1:9, James 5:16). There is no shame or guilt at the foot of the cross. Jesus says come (Revelation 22:17). Your sin qualifies you to come to Jesus. Now leave it with Him. God doesn’t keep record of your wrongs because they were nailed to the cross (Psalm 103:12).
Confession and forgiveness is so sweet when done quickly in the way the Lord desires.
The Bible is known as Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. God knew that we would wreck our roles at times; therefore, he gave us the B.I.B.L.E. Our roles are important and matter. May we “keep watch,” “pray” and “do” all that God commands us to do – living life through a gospel lens of Biblical love. When we or others fall into temptation, may we be quick to confess, repent and forgive, then move toward loving God and others yet again (Proverbs 24:16). Situations can be extremely hard. But nothing is harder than what Jesus did to save us (Isaiah 53:5). Walk by the Spirit (1 John 2:6). God loves to take messes and make them clean (Isaiah 1:18).