From Hate to Forgiveness

“Now Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him, and Esau said to himself….I will kill my brother Jacob.”  Genesis 27:41

It is understandable that Esau would be angry at his brother for stealing his birthright.  Ephesians 4:26 says that we can be angry and not sin, yet we know Esau’s anger was headed toward murder.

The temptation to not forgive someone when they hurt us is very real (1 Corinthians 10:13). No matter the level of hurt – birthright taken or not – if we hold onto anger and not surrender it to God, ultimately our hearts will turn bitter and wrathful. However, we are commanded as disciples of Christ to put off anger and to put on forgiveness no matter how great the offense is (Ephesians 4:31-42).

Somewhere along the timeline between Esau vowing he was going to kill his brother, to the time he met up with Jacob 20 years later, Esau’s heart had changed.  

Either our hearts will grow bitter or get better after being hurt.  God’s desire is that our pain grows us better – more into the image of Christ (Romans 8:28-29). 

Esau’s heart grew better shown in the fact that he wanted to reunite with his brother.

Now what about Jacob’s heart? 

Jacob gathers gifts of oxen, donkeys, flocks, male servants, and female servants in hopes that Esau will extend forgiveness once he sees him.  Since, Jacob doesn’t know that Esau’s heart has changed for the good, he is afraid and distressed to meet his brother along with the 400 other men (Genesis 32:5-8). 

Jacob pours his heart out to God in such a humble, contrite, fear of the Lord way (Isaiah 66:2b):

“I am not worthy of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the faithfulness that you have shown to your servant…Please deliver me from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau, for I fear him, that he may come and attack me, the mothers with the children. But you said, ‘I will surely do you good, and make your offspring as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered for multitudes.” (Genesis 32:10-12)

Therefore, we learn from Jacob’s prayer:

• To acknowledge our unworthiness
• That God is full of steadfast love and faithfulness 
• That God can deliver 
• That we are to go to God first with our fear, pain, anger, etc.  
• That we are to pray back to God’s His promises

Now when we pray, we must leave our case in God’s perfect capable hands and trust Him with the outcome.  In other words, we pray and then do the next right thing. 

The very next morning Jacob saw Esau with the 400 men approaching.  Jacob was resolved to trust God with the outcome and went before his family and livestock – protecting them – then bowing before his brother – showing his heart of humility and that he honors Esau (Genesis 33:1-3).

Then in verse four, Esau extends forgiveness by embracing Jacob with hugs, kisses and tears – demonstrating his love for his brother.  The hate and anger from 20 years ago literally vanishes instantly because “love keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5).

That’s our God – He loves by not keeping record of our wrongdoings.  All of our sin was nailed to the cross and buried with Christ.  We as His disciples are not to withhold forgiveness…ever.  After all, our sin hurt God enough for Him to come down from heaven and die for us so that our relationship with Him can be restored.

Forgiveness brings restoration in relationships.  Esau and Jacob’s relationship was broken, yet restored because one man chose forgiveness and another man chose humility.

When the pain comes, may we not let a minute go by without bringing our hurt, betrayal, hate, and fear to God in a humble prayer first, then choose to do the next right thing.  

Jesus said in this life we will have hurt, yet He’s overcome all pain (John 16:33).  Therefore, we choose to go to Jesus in and with our pain, trusting Him with the outcome.  Leave all hate, bitterness, and wrath in the capable loving nail-scarred hands of our Savior, then choose to walk in forgiveness as God in Christ so graciously extended to you and me.