I just found out that someone very close to me at one time passed away earlier this year. Even though it has been over two decades since we had contact, I grieve, yet I am thankful.
God has been so good to bring His Word to me when I am troubled. Ecclesiastes 7:2 says that, “It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart.”
Often with verses I have read in the past, God will do a work to etch them into my heart. Today, He engraved Ecclesiastes 7:2 into my soul.
I have read this verse multiple times and even recently heard it read at a memorial service, yet in the past it didn’t strike me as it has today.
As I mourn this person’s death, I am reminded of the brevity of life. We read all throughout the Bible, especially in the Psalms that we are to number our days. That life is soon gone, it will fly away, and it’s a mere breath/vapor.
Life for me right now – in this moment – has slowed down so I can think on “numbering my days” – what does that actually look like?
I have quieted my soul to reflect upon all of God’s goodness in my life – my salvation, my husband, my children, my family, and my friends…relationships really. Psalm 131 teaches me that I can calm and quiet my soul, because I am humble before God. I do not have the power on my own to calm/quiet my soul, but God – because He is my savior, interceder, comforter, counselor, deliverer, friend, fortress, Father, rock, redeemer, restorer – He lives inside of me and therefore, I see it is “better to go to the house of mourning” because then I see only His face and His glory.
When I knew this deceased soul, I was not a new creation. The Lord showed me today just how much Jesus has changed me by His Word and the power of the Holy Spirit. He who began a good work in me will complete it when I meet Jesus face to face (Phil 1:6). So I need to number my days.
I grieve, yet I am thankful. Thankful that God would pursue me enough that through the loss of someone I had forgotten, that God is the strength of my heart and my portion forevermore (Psalm 73:26).
I am slower today…slow to speak, slow to get angry…James 1:19 has been the cry of my heart for the past nearly 17 years since God saved my soul. Today, the Lord has shown me that when I number my days and humbly seeking His face, everything else fades away and then I can be slow to do what God created me to do…love God and love others.