Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil,
for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Earlier in my quiet time with the Lord, I had been mediating (listening to podcasts, short sermons, Bible reading) on depression, discouragement, despair – suffering verses really – trying to replace them with hope, thanksgiving and joy verses. Because I know that God’s Word is the ONLY way to redirect my mind and heart.
It wasn’t until I was running did I remember what I was meditating on. Renew my mind.
On my run up the hill, I looked to my left (I was running on the left side of the street, against traffic) and noticed the water flowing downward in the gutter. Either a pipe broke, someone had washed their car – because it hadn’t rained for days – or God put it there just for me. To teach me. He is so patient with me. I believe God “puts things there” because He’s done it over and over again in my life – recalling the hundreds of hearts He has sent my way.
I was reminded of Psalm 23 – He leads me beside still waters – the flow of this water in the gutter can speed up or slow down and can only flow downward because of gravity – it will never move in a different direction. Jesus is my living water – He never stops flowing – He is constant – always moving “for me”.
I am “the gutter”. Jesus is with me in the gutter. It’s hard running uphill, but Jesus is ever present flowing “downward” while I run upward. It’s hard. I look at the circumstance and cry out in discouragement, despair – I am suffering! Help me God! You have the Words of eternal life!
Then I get to the top of the hill and turn around. The direction of the water didn’t change. It’s still flowing downhill. I changed my direction – I changed my thoughts. I “redirected” my thoughts to thanksgiving, hope and joy. The water was now flowing with me. It gave me more encouragement to run faster and harder. It didn’t seem as hard (to have an attitude of thanksgiving, hope and joy) now that I was running downward. I could see Jesus running with me. I was trusting, believing Him – what He says. He always says the truth. But why the shift? Why was I now believing Him and not bowing down to the lies in my head?
Because I choose to renew my mind.
But I must remember, upward or downward, Jesus is with me in the gutter. I can dread and complain – dare I say, curse God – shaking a fist at Him – why God, why? – but I must choose to not ask why – because I know the why will ALWAYS be – He’s refining me. It’s hard. It hurts. I suffer. But for nothing? No, for my good. For His glory. To conform me more into the image of His Son. I must choose to trust and obey – there is no other way.
I say I don’t want it. I don’t want the suffering. I don’t want to be refined anymore – Not this way! He continues to refine regardless of what I want. We both know where I lead myself – despair, discouragement, depression. He wants me to trust Him. Is He trustworthy? Yes, He’s proven it over and over. He wants me to obey. Obedience shows Him that I trust Him regardless of how I feel.
So I repent of my anger and questioning His way. I recall my day of salvation – 9/28/07. I told God after I got saved “however, whenever, whatever you want – I will do.” I’ve not held to my standard or my profession to God because I’ve allowed circumstances to muddy my God. I stare at the circumstance and not to the One who paid it all – went to Calvary – for me. God has kept His Word. He’s perfect. He is faithful. He stays constant, ever flowing “for me”. No matter which way I’m turned – upward or downward – He is my living water.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. Why? Because I have all that I want in Him. Notice Jesus is my shepherd – very personal. He cares for me, provides for my needs, guides and protects me. If I have Jesus, I have everything – And I am content.
He makes me lie down in green pastures. These times seem far and few in between – maybe because I’m not learning my lesson in the valley so He keeps leading me in the vale more often.
He leads me besides still waters. He’s in the gutter with me. As I “feed upon” and “drink in” the Word of God and pray, Jesus gives me “green pastures” and “still waters” which result in peace and rest for my soul. I can experience this peace and rest EVERTIME I go to Him believing Him at His Word and doing what He says regardless of how I feel. I would never starve my physical body of food and water, and if I did, I would suffer the consequences (weak, headache, tired, hungry, dizzy, etc.). God created us with a body and soul. I choose daily to feed my body food and water, how much more should I choose daily to feed my soul with Scripture.
When I think what is right, true, lovely, admirable – when I redirect my thoughts to Him – He restores my soul! He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. God is righteous and leads me on paths that only sanctify me. It is a painful process to become righteous. Scripture tells us to “be holy as God is holy”. Positionally, I am righteous because of the cross. But day to day, moment by moment, I must choose what is right over what is not. Eyes on Jesus, not focused on the hard upward hill.
Even though I walk through the valley (I won’t stay there, it is temporary and only God knows how long) of the shadow of death (in my thoughts mostly – perceived, lies, misunderstanding, my imagination, my flesh – temptations, trials, innocent/guilty suffering, sickness, etc.) I will (choose to) fear no evil. Why? For you are with me (in the gutter). Jesus, you are always with me. There isn’t a moment in time when you are not with me.
Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. I am disciplined/protected because you love me and you discipline/protect those you love – those who are your children. I am your child. I am your daughter.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies (my wrong thoughts, the world, the devil – anything against you, my God) (enemies are powerless in the presence of my Shepherd). The table is the cross. You went to the cross for me. Ever interceding for me. Ever cheering me on – run the race well – don’t give up in doing good – you will reap a harvest!
You anoint my head with oil. Your oil. Your oil never runs out. I see the crown of thorns on your head. You took it for me. I am set apart for you God to do all that you have created me to do.
My cup overflows. Because your Holy Spirit lives in me. I too can live now, and forever. I’m so thankful! I have joy! I have hope! I have Christ – In Christ alone!!! All that God pours into me by His Word can’t be contained – I’m compelled to share it with others! God gives me continual grace for every situation I face. I can experience His love, joy and peace continually. I must take inventory of what I am being filled with (wrong thoughts, media, reading material, etc.) making sure that God’s Word is overflowing in and through me and not this world, my flesh or the enemy.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me ALL the days of my life (characteristics of God). You mean what you say, and say what you mean. I’ve seen it over and over again. You are good and your mercy endures forever. Great is your faithfulness! Your mercy is new every morning (and evening and all in between)! I can trust you God during the upward and especially downward hills of my life. You are with me in the gutter. You refine me through suffering. You suffered for me. Suffering will be no more…one day. You promised. I believe. Help my unbelief.
More suffering will come – I know this – because you are not finished with me yet. You began a good work in me and will carry it to completion. I will choose to see suffering as your loving hand upon me. I will choose to trust and obey. I will choose to renew my heart and mind with your Word. You are worthy. You are always moving “for me”. You are my living water. You are my hope and joy! For you and to you, my God, I am thankful!
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever! If God said it, I can believe it! “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:17-18